This week at a glance

This last week was an interesting one. Last Sunday I found myself on Facebook excited for yet another friend announcing their pregnancy/due date to cyberspace. And then, right in the middle of my happiness for them I felt saddened.

Brian and I have been wanted to get pregnant for the last 18 months. Our ideal plan was to have babies two years apart. We both want four babies. We both are aware that I am not a spring chicken so since we started when I was 28 we knew we would have to work fast. As so when my body began to "act up" we were concerned.

I have been going to see a Fertility Doctor/OB-GYN for the last six months. He has helped me to understand that my problems may be cause by PCOS. And yes, he "thinks" I may have. He says all my symptoms lead him to believe this but we haven't got around to furthering that diagnosis. His first plan of action to regulate my body was to put me on birth control. What? He knows we WANT more babies, why birth control. Apparently birth control helps a woman regulate her body and hormones when her body "acts up". So I took some birth control, for a month. Then I couldn't get in to see him and left it alone.

Last Sunday I found myself going from super happy to super upset. I said to myself "FINE!" I cried a little bit and then first thing Monday morning I called and asked if I could have a prescription for birth control, because it was obviously not going to hurt me this year, my body was acting up again. The nurse said that was fine but asked if I was pregnant. No I am not. Brian agreed with my decision and so on Tuesday morning we went and picked up prescription. The pharmacy tech asked, no stressed that if I am pregnant I should not take birth control. "Are you sure you are not pregnant or you have a possibility of being pregnant?" she stressed. No I replied. Three months nothing happening within my body. I am not pregnant, biology says that is impossible. So Tuesday night I sit on my bed with my water in my hand and prep to take the birth control and I couldn't take it. I began to cry. If I start taking birth control there goes another chance. And then I remembered the look on the pharmacy tech's face and I ask Brian to go and get me a test. Better to be safe than sorry. So Wednesday he goes to the store and buys one.

Wednesday night, right before bed, I realize I haven't taken this test and need to so that I can feel good about the birth control. So at midnight I take the test and this is what we get...

"BRIAN!!! COME HERE NOW PLEASE!!!" What he says followed by a giggle. We argue a bit and decide that maybe its because I have been eating too many spinach-poppy seed dressing salads this last week. I go to bed, without taking birth control. Throughout the night Brian buys another test so that I can take a test in the morning.
This is what we get. At first glance we thought negative. And then we started looking at the directions of the lines. Two positive tests. Are we really PREGNANT? I call the doctor and make an appointment for Monday.

At the doctor he does a test and it also come back positive. SWEET! Now we are getting excited. Especially when he tells us the due date is Jan. 22. 2011. And in 3-4 weeks we can find out the sex of the baby. WHAT?? Brian and quickly lose our enthusiasm and determine that something isn't correct. I haven't had a cycle since April 17 (this is the date the doctor is going on) and yet we don't feel right about it. We must have let off some weird vibes because the doctor then says let me check something first. He goes looking for a heart beat. Nothing. He then tells us to come back in two hours and have an ultrasound. Its easier to find a heart beat with an ultrasound. I like that better because who doesn't want a picture of their baby.

Two hours later we are getting our ultrasound. And guess what, nothing. The technician then decides to try a different method of looking. She goes in vaginally. And then she sees something. But what is it? Too make a long story short. We are a fluke.

We are pregnant but have no heart beat and we aren't worried. Why you ask? After finally finding something to take a picture of we determine that all we have is a sac. No baby yet. I am estimated to be only 3 weeks pregnant. A babies heart beat doesn't show up until week 5-6. I didn't know that. I just happen to take a test early and WOW my hormones showed up.

Needless to say we are all very excited but very nervous. It is still so early that lots could happen. We hope and pray that the only things that happen are positive and allow this baby to go full term. My heart says everything is fine and yet my mind tells me not to get comfortable. My body is crazy and my only hope is that it calms down so that we might experience this little blessing in our arms in 10 months. Please keep Baby Larson #2 in your prayers. Because I would love to hold the baby in my arms soon.

Thanks and sorry for being so long.

PS Aidan is pretty excited. He likes to kiss and rub my tummy. I have been trying to get him to say I love you for months now. The first time he said it was to my tummy. "I wuv you Baby."
So cute!