Sunday, April 17, 2011

Six days of goodbyes

I have thought about this blog topic and have debated doing it. I don't want to come across sounding dismal and depressed because I am not. I don't want people to be concerned about us, but I also want to remember some of these sentiments I feel as I am experiencing them and as our time in Utah comes to an end. We don't know much about the future. Virginia could turn out to be a temporary move (2 years), a stepping block (continually moving to help further Brian in his career) or a permanent move (we could love it out there and not want to leave). But unlike death or the mission field (being essentially cut off from everything for two years) this move will allow us many freedoms thanks to technology. So in the mean time I want to take the next six days to say "goodbye" as it were to things that come up during our last week in Utah.

With today being Sunday, I want to say good bye to the Clearfield 5th ward and surrounding neighborhood. We have lived in this ward nearly two years, and even though I didn't realize it until recently, part of my heart will always reside here.

It was here that I got discouraged with the "lack of friendliness in the neighborhood and ward." It was also here that I realized that the above statement was a load of crap and I was the problem. I am my father's daughter and as such I am generally shy until I feel comfortable and have a hard time with chit chat. And to top that off I am a tall, fat girl that no matter how hard I tries to smile most people believe me to be incredibly self confident and/or intimidating. I have been told in the past that only the bravest of people dare approach me and then, and only then, do they realize I am a large teddy bear of sorts. I think this was the problem with my ward and neighborhood. In the first years time in this ward I had spoken to my neighbors across the street about five times, my one next door neighbor twice (she talked with my mother more times than me), my other next door neighbor about a handful of times and only a hello.

Our neighborhood is comprised of many different apartment complexes and widows/widowers (the neighborhood as a whole is older). I recently learned that the older members of the ward have become leary of the newer members moving into the ward because they generally are apartment folk and don't last long.

During our first year here we had never seen a visiting teacher, and two different sets of gentlemen came to our home for visits. I thought them to be home teachers but they ended up being just members of the Elder's Quorum doing their routine visits. This discouraged me further. At church we were asked to introduce ourselves. This happened nearly every time we attended church for a year. What?

Last October, I was contacted by a fervent visiting teacher who wanted to visit us. She was fervent! She called my phone, Brian's phone, left messages and even stopped by the house. I was never avoiding her and her companion, but schedules didn't work out well. Then one Saturday someone was snow blowing our driveway. I went out to say thank you and this wonderful woman mentioned she was my visiting teacher and wanted to meet. We chatted as best I could and explained our crazy schedule. I then mentioned that if she wanted to count this chat as visit it would be fine with me. She said no, this couldn't count because she had a companion that wanted to meet me. My heart changed a little bit that day. She and her companion have come regularly since then. A couple of months they stopped by twice in a month just cause. I don't know if you could say we are good friends, but these sisters have helped me so much the last couple of months. I think that it was through there association that the ward realized we weren't apartment dwellers. Aidan loves these ladies. He refers to them as his "buddies." He gets excited when he sees them at church and gives them hugs. They have truly been a blessing in our lives.

One sister was called to be the Relief Society President the same week that I told her about the triplets and Brian interviewing for a job in Virginia. The other sister was put into Primary. The next week I was called as a Primary CTR-7 teacher. See association helps get you involved Armga!

It has been a while since I was a Primary teacher and I must say I love this class. I was told they are rowdy, rambuntcious, full of questions and generally crazy. They were all of that and I loved them. I will miss each and every face in that class. I was sad today when I got released. I was sad that I didn't prepare a lesson. Funny how being a teacher for a few weeks can change your heart about a group of people or a ward. Just as I started to change my heart and attitude and people started talking to us and learning our names we must leave. That makes me sad. This has been a quick time in this ward. Far quicker than we ever imagined. But everyone, adults and children will remain in my heart. Thankfully we may be leaving this ward but the church is everywhere especially in Virginia and I am anxious to meet these other members.

Goodbye Clearfield 5th ward. You will be missed. We love you all!

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